Saturday, July 21, 2007

George W.'s Colonoscopy Supported by Surge

When I woke up on the operating table after my colonoscopy last year, it occurred to me that I hadn't heard if President Bush was having one, that day, too, or not.
Being that our lives are so extraordinarily similar, I had to believe that he had had a colonoscopy that day, too, but they kept it quiet because they didn't want to give Al Quaida an opening to invade the U.S. while our president was under the anesthetic. That could have been disastrous.
Anyway, I was pleased to hear that this time around, because things are going so well in Iraq now with the Surge, that George W. is able to take a little time off from steering of the ship of state and let Dick Cheney have a chance at the wheel for a couple hours.
My colonoscopy went really well yesterday, too. When I checked my BlackBerry after I came out of the anesthetic, I saw that not a lot had happened, which is exactly what happened when George W. came out from under his anesthetic.
Me and George W. -- can two people be any more alike?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Free to play MEAT BINGO

I was "surfing the 'Net" (as the young people say) and came across this great blog, called Paradise, New Hampshire, about living free and dying free.

All I can say is whoever's taking these picture is as freedom loving as myself and George W.!

Viva New Hampshire!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Sark Hires Intellitrends 20/20 to Assess 2008 Presidential Bid

Paul M. Sark has hired global business consulting firm, Intellitrends 20/20, to assess a possible bid for the Presidency in 2008. The firm, co-founded by Paul M. Sark and Kip Westlake last week, has already begun conducting research into the Sark "brand."

"I think they're a terrific company," Mr. Sark said. "They are so outside-of-the-box, they're scary. And let's face it," he added, "in today's post-9/7 election environment, getting out of the box is what we are all striving for."

"The Sark brand has tremendous upside," said Kip Westlake, Director of Global Branding and co-founder of Intellitrends 20/20. "Once we do a brand refresh and expunge all similarities between Paul & George W. Bush, that chair in that oval-shaped office in Washington, D.C. will be Sark's for the sitting. If he wants it, that is."

Asked if he wanted that chair in the oval-shaped office, Mr. Sark replied, "We'll let the research make that determination. But rest assured, whatever the research says, I'm still going to make up my mind in such a way that everyone will be satisfied."

Intellitrends 20/20 is a privately-held company with enormous human and material assets and is registered in the Cayman Islands under another name that might be familiar to fans of the Star Wars saga.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bush Nostalgic for "Stay the Course" -- And So Am I!

I don't know about you, but Me & George W. are nostalgic for the good old days when we were completely psyched about the whole "stay the course" thing in Iraq.

I mean it's really disappointing that the Iraqi people stopped cooperating on the stay the course plan. I suppose they're doing the best they can. What with all the terrorists always pushing them off course, you can understand how it's hard to stay on the course.

It's funny but I was thinking about this the other day when I was riding on the subway and I missed my stop. See, I was reading the new book by Bill O'Reilly, that great culture warrior. In fact the book is called "Culture Warrior." Anyway, I wound up at the Parkside station -- two stops past mine! I got out, walked over the overpass and waited for a Q train going back.

It was while I was waiting that I thought, "It's just like those Iraqis in a way. They stayed the course too long and weren't reacting to the situation on the ground and now they can't stay the course because they waited too long to react. And now it's hard to react because everything is falling apart."

Then I thought of how disappointed George W. probably is in the Iraqi people. I mean I assume that he thinks, like I think, because we're so similar Me & George W. are, that the Iraqi people really squandered the golden opportunity of freedom that America bestowed upon them.

I thought: "It's a shame that Iraqi renewal is going to take a lot longer than we had planned."

Then the Q train showed up and I went home, making sure to watch the stations carefully so I wouldn't miss my stop again!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Gallic Gall: Jean-Paul Sark Comes Back for More!

I have received another insulting email from that faux philosopher, Jean-Paul Sark.

If you read his latest email below, you'll see that Mr. Jean-Paul Sark now has the gall to suggest I slandered him in my response to his first email (see post below). This is ridiculous, of course. I mean how can you slander a Frenchman when these cheese-eating surrender monkeys do such a good job of dishonoring themselves all by themselves?

Then, a little further on Mr. Jean-Paul Sark in his convoluted existentialist manner, goes on to say that Me & George W. are "non-beings" -- whatever that means.

Anyway, read Jean-Paul Sark's second email and you'll see why everyone, but especially Me & George W., have been bored with the French ever since Ol' Napoleon croaked on St. Helena way back in 1821!

From: Jean-Paul Sark
Date: Nov 18, 2006 3:09 PM
Subject: Mr. Sark -- Are You Suffering from Nausea?

Dear Mr. Sark,

Thank you for slandering me. I believe this a requirement of you so-called American "Republicans" -- to slander anyone who might make you question your existence, no? Thank you for not disappointing my expectations.

But I write to you today really to ask if you have ever contemplated the origin of negation? I ask because I would venture to say that you have been thinking deeply and continuously about negation since the "thumping" your Republican party took at the hands of the Democrats in the mid-term election.

Do you find that when you go about the world now your expectations are not fulfilled? For instance, now that Mark Foley can no longer drive to the Congressional pages' dormitory, there is a negation, a void, a nothingness, where there once a BMW convertible and a pervert. From this example, it is evident that non-being always appears within the limits of a human expectation.

This, I am sure, comes as a great shock to you and your Republican friends. You who gaseously prided yourselves on your existence, who crowed that the United States is the "Indispensable Nation." Whose President once claimed he was "The Decider." Ha! He is all negation now. A non-being. The Non-Decider!

You, whose life is so amazingly similar to George W. Bush's, are now a non-being, too. This must be exquisitely painful. Or perhaps not. It is hard to fathom you American idealists and your perfervid desire to plant your etiolated American "Liberty Tree" everywhere under the sun.

Jean-Paul Sark

Le Havre, France

My response is simply this, Mr. Jean-Paul Sark. Or should I call you the Marquis De Sark?

I mean how can you call me a pervert? You French invented perversion! You and your French kissing!

You can take your "negation," fry it up in butter and garlic, mix in some snails and shove the whole mess up your orifice du rectum!

But then again, you'd probably like it -- so maybe you should just cook up some nice French crow and eat that instead!

Give up yet? Any time you're ready. As for terms, I'm offering unconditional surrender, the most humiliating of all terms. You, being without honor -- or should I say you, being a negation of honor -- should find unconditional surrender the best of all possible negations.

Au revoir, Frenchy!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Jean-Paul Sark Interrogates Paul M. Sark

Imagine how angry I was when I received an insulting email from a Frenchman. A Frenchman!

Mr. Jean-Paul Sark, as you'll see, has the audacity to suggest the "stamp of my existence" has disappeared because the Democrats took over the Congress! I ask you: who but a Frenchman could write such confused quasi-philosophic drivel?

Read Jean-Paul Sark's email and you'll see why nearly everyone, but especially Me & George W., hate the French!

From: Jean-Paul Sark
Date: Nov 18, 2006 3:09 PM
Subject: Mr. Sark -- Are You Suffering from Nausea?

Dear Mr. Sark,

Just today, I came across your blog, Me & George W., which has made me nauseous in the extreme. Allow me to explain.

You see, my name is Jean-Paul Sark. I am a dejected researcher in Le Havre, France. I have become starkly conscious of the fact that inanimate objects and situations remain absolutely indifferent to my existence. They show themselves to be resistant to whatever significance human consciousness might perceive in them.

This indifference of "things in themselves" has the effect of highlighting the freedom I have to perceive and act in the world; everywhere I look I find situations imbued with meanings which bear the stamp of my existence. Everything I encounter in my everyday life is suffused with a pervasive, even horrible, taste -- specifically, my freedom.

I write to you today wondering if you, with your remarkable similarity to George W. Bush, see everywhere you look situations without meaning, situations which do not bear the stamp of your existence. I wonder this because in the wake of the mid-term election it seems George W. Bush's version of reality has been rejected by the American electorate. Thus, nothing bears the stamp of his existence any longer. In turn, nothing bears the stamp of your existence anymore either.

Do you have a horrible taste in your mouth, i.e., the taste of freedom? Are you feeling "Being or Nothingness?" Or both?

By the way, I should probably mention that we have similar last names. But that is so obvious as to be puerile. But since you specialize in the puerile, perhaps you will find it amusing. That is entirely your responsibility.

Jean-Paul Sark

Le Havre, France

Me & George W. are not real big fans of the French. As you recall, the French ambassador said some really stupid things about not invading Iraq before we Americans did our duty to mankind and invaded that country and captured the tyrant, Saddam Hussein.

So, my answer is a definite, American "No" to you Mr. Jean-Paul Sark. My mouth tastes fine. Because the freedom I taste is American freedom. It's a sweet and satisfying taste. The complete opposite of the the cheese-eating taste in your surrender monkey mouth, you cheese-eating surrender monkey!

Au revoir!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

RNC & NY Times Agree: Dems Have No Iraq Policy

The Republican National Committee asserts, correctly, that the Democrats Still Have No Plan for Iraq. And amazingly, the source the RNC quotes on the matter is the ultra-liberal New York Times.

Here's the story hot off the RNC website:

In Case You Missed It: Democrats Still Have No Plan For Iraq

From The New York Times
November 12, 2006

Democrats Have No Real Iraq Policy:

The New York Times: "The Democrats will not be able to savor their victory for long... The Democrats will also need to look forward - and quickly. So far they have shared slogans, but no real policy. During the campaign, their most common call was for a "phased redeployment" - a euphemism for withdrawal - of American troops starting before the end of this year." (Editorial, "Democrats And Iraq," The New York Times, 11/12/06)

I don't know about you, but it looks to me look the RNC has their mojo back!

I mean, using the very mouthpiece of the liberals -- The New York Times -- against the liberals! Just like jujitsu -- another brilliant Rovian/Mehlmanesque manuever!

I don't know about you, but seeing this on the RNC website makes me confident of a Republican takeover in 2008!

Me & George W., of course, know that this liberal attack on liberals is so typical of liberals. We know that not only do liberals have no plans, ever their own mouthpiece knows they have no plans! And their mouthpiece doesn't have any plans either, except to attack liberals!

How stupid can you be? FOX News would never do that, and that's why the GOP will win in 2008!

People like Me & George W., however, have plans and are not afraid to use them. And if I run in 2008, I will have plans, and will not be afraid to use them either!