Friday, November 24, 2006

Gallic Gall: Jean-Paul Sark Comes Back for More!

I have received another insulting email from that faux philosopher, Jean-Paul Sark.

If you read his latest email below, you'll see that Mr. Jean-Paul Sark now has the gall to suggest I slandered him in my response to his first email (see post below). This is ridiculous, of course. I mean how can you slander a Frenchman when these cheese-eating surrender monkeys do such a good job of dishonoring themselves all by themselves?

Then, a little further on Mr. Jean-Paul Sark in his convoluted existentialist manner, goes on to say that Me & George W. are "non-beings" -- whatever that means.

Anyway, read Jean-Paul Sark's second email and you'll see why everyone, but especially Me & George W., have been bored with the French ever since Ol' Napoleon croaked on St. Helena way back in 1821!

From: Jean-Paul Sark
Date: Nov 18, 2006 3:09 PM
Subject: Mr. Sark -- Are You Suffering from Nausea?

Dear Mr. Sark,

Thank you for slandering me. I believe this a requirement of you so-called American "Republicans" -- to slander anyone who might make you question your existence, no? Thank you for not disappointing my expectations.

But I write to you today really to ask if you have ever contemplated the origin of negation? I ask because I would venture to say that you have been thinking deeply and continuously about negation since the "thumping" your Republican party took at the hands of the Democrats in the mid-term election.

Do you find that when you go about the world now your expectations are not fulfilled? For instance, now that Mark Foley can no longer drive to the Congressional pages' dormitory, there is a negation, a void, a nothingness, where there once a BMW convertible and a pervert. From this example, it is evident that non-being always appears within the limits of a human expectation.

This, I am sure, comes as a great shock to you and your Republican friends. You who gaseously prided yourselves on your existence, who crowed that the United States is the "Indispensable Nation." Whose President once claimed he was "The Decider." Ha! He is all negation now. A non-being. The Non-Decider!

You, whose life is so amazingly similar to George W. Bush's, are now a non-being, too. This must be exquisitely painful. Or perhaps not. It is hard to fathom you American idealists and your perfervid desire to plant your etiolated American "Liberty Tree" everywhere under the sun.

Jean-Paul Sark

Le Havre, France

My response is simply this, Mr. Jean-Paul Sark. Or should I call you the Marquis De Sark?

I mean how can you call me a pervert? You French invented perversion! You and your French kissing!

You can take your "negation," fry it up in butter and garlic, mix in some snails and shove the whole mess up your orifice du rectum!

But then again, you'd probably like it -- so maybe you should just cook up some nice French crow and eat that instead!

Give up yet? Any time you're ready. As for terms, I'm offering unconditional surrender, the most humiliating of all terms. You, being without honor -- or should I say you, being a negation of honor -- should find unconditional surrender the best of all possible negations.

Au revoir, Frenchy!


Anonymous said...

If you're going to nick the phrase "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" from the Simpsons, please attribute it. We wouldn't want people to think you were clever enough to come up with that on your own.

Paul M. Sark said...

Thank you, anonymous, for your insistence upon proper attribution.

Grant Miller said...

Funny rebuttle to anonymous. Everyone knows where "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" comes from. No need for attribution.