Sark Considers Perle For 2008 Running Mate

While on retreat this week I have been considering running mates for my possible run for the presidency in 2008. In this post I share with you my thoughts about Richard Perle. (In my post below I consider L. Paul Bremer.)

Here's the top three reasons I'm considering Mr. Perle:

1. Richard Perle advocated regime change in Iraq ever since the First Gulf War. He called for the overthrow in the famous January 26, 1998 PNAC Letter sent to US President Bill Clinton. He believed that Saddam Hussein's control of the government was fragile, and that an invasion of Iraq would remove Saddam from power within weeks.

2. Perle advocated invading Iraq with only 40,000 troops, and complained about the calls by then Gen. Eric Shinseki to use 250,000 troops.

3. Perle is a frequent critic of the U.N., stating that it is an embodiment of; "...the liberal conceit of safety through international law administered by international institutions...". Furthermore, shortly after the 2003 invasion of Iraq Perle stated that; "in this case international law stood in the way of doing the right thing."

So there you have it. Not only is Richard Perle a man with strong convictions, he's also a master military and political strategist! I think I'd let probably him run the whole foreign policy apparatus!

Next on my list for consideration: Douglas Feith.

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Perle, Iraq

Sark Considers Bremer for VP in 2008

While on retreat at Camp Paul Sark this week, I, Paul M. Sark, have been considering running mates for my possible run for the presidency in 2008. At the top of my list is L. Paul Bremer, "Jerry" as his friends call him.

As Presidential Envoy to Iraq and Administrator of the Coalition Provisional Authority, "Jerry" Lewis Paul Bremer was the man who disbanded the Iraqi Army. Although liberal critics claimed this put hundreds of thousands of disgruntled soldiers, unpaid and armed, on the streets of Baghdad, and led to the beginning of the insurgency, Me & George W. know that this is just plain nonsense.

The same Liberal critics slammed his "de-Baathification" of the government, which involved firing of thousands of school teachers and removing Ba'ath party members from top government positions. These critics say this policy helped create and worsen an atmosphere of discontent and added fuel to the fire in the heady days of America's early victory in Iraq.

What these liberal critics forget is that George W. Bush awarded Jerry the Medal of Freedom in recognition of his service to the people of Iraq and the United States. He was also presented with the Department of Defense award for Distinguished Public Service and the Nixon Library honored him with the "Victory of Freedom Award" for "demonstrating leadership and working towards peace and freedom.

Freedom is the main reasons why I'm giving strong consideration to Jerry Bremer as my vice president. His management of the Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq opened the floodgates of freedom in that once benighted country.

Me & George W. and Jerry are all about freedom. But then again, so is Richard Perle. He's also on my list of possible running mates. More on his qualifications soon!


Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Bremer, Iraq

Bush Sets Four-Letter Word Agenda

According to the LA Times, George W. Bush in a stump speech yesterday in Des Moines, Iowa, called Sen. Jeff Lamberti, "Dave" a couple of times during the speech.

As a man whose life is amazingly similar to George Bush's this does not come as a surprise to me. Me & George W. are focused on the big picture. Not like liberals who always have their minds in the gutter.

I mean, really, both "Dave" and "Jeff" have four letters, don't they?

Both Me & George W. know that the president's job is to set the agenda, and let the staff work on the details. In this case, he perfectly stated the four letter name agenda. Now his staff will follow through on the particulars.

End of story, liberal media! Got that? End of story!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Four Letter Words, Jeff, Dave

Bush: Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Today, George W. Bush signed a bill to build a fence hundreds of miles long between Mexico and the United States. Meanwhile, Mexico, supported by 27 other nations, made a declaration slamming the U.S. plan.

Me & George W., who see eye to eye on just about everything, don't really know what the 28 nations are so upset about, although people in the 28 countries generally speak Spanish and are therefore generally more excitable than Americans.

The 27 nations that supported Mexico in Wednesday's declaration were Antigua, Argentina, Barbados, Belize, Bolivia, Brazil, Colombia, Costa Rica, Chile, Ecuador, El Salvador, Granada, Guatemala, Guyana, Haiti, Honduras, Jamaica, Nicaragua, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, San Kitts and Nevis, San Lucia, San Vicente, Suriname, Uruguay and Venezuela.

My wife and I honeymooned in Nevis. Of course, I'll never go there again, nor to any of the other traitor countries. Unless they're some really cheap flights. Or a tremendous package.

I would encourage you to avoid these ungrateful nations, too. After all we've done for them, after all the NAFTA jobs we gave them? They go and complain about a fence?

Hey, Mexico -- all we're trying to do is protect ourselves from you and your rotten ingrate friends!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Mexico Wall, Liberals

Bush Rethinking "Stay the Course" -- And So Am I !!

Like George W. Bush, I've been rethinking this whole Iraq thing. Which is why I haven't posted in quite a while.

I, like George W. Bush, did say quite a number of times over the past years that we must "stay the course in Iraq." And like George W. Bush, I'm still saying that we must stay the course. But what he and I are also saying is that we might make certain stops on the course.

They will be good stops. We will stop, for instance, at James Baker's place. And he will make stops in Saudi Arabia and maybe Syria, and Israel, and Egypt. This is so he can have a regional solution in place for after the mid-term elections. As you've probably heard, the regional solution has to remain secret for the next couple of weeks.

We Republicans are really good at coming up with secret plans for fixing stuff that are to be revealed after an important election. There was Nixon's Secret Plan for Ending the War in Vietnam. It was so secret that all he could tell the American people prior to the election was that the plan was secret. And that he couldn't share it.

That was good enough for the American people: Nixon got elected. The secret plan took another 5 years to execute, but eventually, Gerald Ford got it to work.

So -- our takeaway on secret plans? Secret plans work!

I'm continuing to work on my secret plan just like James Baker and George W. which means that I won't be able to reveal it until after the election. It's going to be excellent, though, you can pretty much count on that!

So don't worry that I'm not posting a lot. It's a lot of work coming up with secret plans. Try it and you'll see what I mean!

Bush and Sark Endorse KISS Strategy

In preparation for the presidency in '08, I've been looking at some of the question and answer sessions on "Ask the White House" -- an online interactive forum where you can submit questions to Administration officials and friends of the White House.

Although I probably don't really need any practice answering questions about the White House -- my life is uncannily similar to George W. Bush's -- it doesn't hurt to stay sharp, just like George W. does.

You see, (for those of you new to my blog), I'm thinking of running for president in 2008, and, if elected I plan to follow the lead of George W. Bush in all things. I will follow the same winning Bushian agenda in waging war, waging peace, and waging tax cuts. I will keep the good times going, Bush-style!

So, anyway, here's an actual question from an actual American named Jared from Tallahassee, followed by my practice answer. Then, for the heck of it, you can read the response of Clay Johnson, current Deputy Director for Management, Office of Management and Budget that's on the White House website.

I think you'll see I'm a bit more succint than Clay. But, I leave that to you to decide. Okay, so here we go:

Q: Jared, from Tallahassee writes:
What is the President's Management Agenda? Who serves on the council?

A: Paul M. Sark, a man who is uncannily similar to George W. Bush:
The President’s Management Agenda (PMA) is a short and simple: cut the government down to size and do more with less.

To help the agenda succeed, President Bush formed the President's Management Council (PMC). The PMC is a way for the departments and agencies to support the President’s government-wide priority to do more with less and cut the government down to size.

Last Friday, the President was briefed on the status of his management agenda by his council. They reported that every year we have done more and more with less and less. And that it's been good for us. And good for America. May God Bless America.

Okay, now here's how Clay Johnson answered. Read it and tell me I don't know how the PMA and PMC works!

Clay Johnson
The President’s Management Agenda (PMA) is a clear and focused strategy for improving the effectiveness of the Federal government. The Agenda contains five government-wide and nine agency-specific initiatives to strengthen management practices, increase government transparency and accountability, and improve program performance.

To help programs succeed and get results the President formed the President's Management Council (PMC). The PMC is made up of the departmental and agency chief operating officers who work with initiative leads at OMB. The PMC is a way for the departments and agencies to support the President’s government-wide priorities and to work together to solve problems.

Last Friday, the President was briefed on the status of his management agenda by his council. They reported that we're working to leave government better than we found it by effectively establishing the management disciplines that will help us consistently improve performance and efficiency each year.

I don't know about you, but I think I'm a lot less long-winded than Mr. Johnson. Better at communicating the core ideas of Bushianism.

Over the new few days, I'm going to continue to answer questions posted on "Ask the White House." And like George W. does, I promise to KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid!).

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, KISS, Liberals

Bush Sees Rising Rates of the "Unacceptable" -- And So Do I!

According to an article in the Washington Post today, in the first nine months of this year, George W. Bush declared more than twice as many events or outcomes "unacceptable" or "not acceptable" as he did in all of 2005, and nearly four times as many as he did in 2004. Specifically, Bush's denunciation of events as unacceptable number 37 so far this year, as opposed to five in 2003, 18 in 2002 and 14 in 2001.

This kind of reporting is unacceptable if you ask me. As a man whose life is remarkably similar to that of George W. Bush's, it is simply not acceptable for a newspaper like the Washington Post to publish articles about how many times our president uses certain words. What are they? Word bookeepers? How is counting words news?

Not only that, but then the article then goes on to suggest that George W. isn't getting his way as much as he used to. That he's getting frustrated. Which is why he finds a lot more things to be "unacceptable." That's their "proof" that he's not getting his way.

The real truth is that things really are more unacceptable now than a few years ago. George W. is only telling the truth. He's a truth teller. Everyone knows that every year that passes things get more unacceptable. It's axiomatic, like 2 + 2 equaling 4. Like the sun coming up in the morning and going down at night. It's the way God designed things. As we get closer to the Apocalypse, things get more unacceptable. Especially to Liberals, of course who will be going to Hell, unlike Me & George W. and people who voted for him. And who will vote for me. If I run for president.

As anyone who has a head on their shoulders knows, liberals get more and more unacceptable every year. Liberals therefore account for a huge proportion of unacceptability.

That is why George Bush has been using the word more often. Because liberals, those dupes of the Islamofacists and North Koreans are getting more and more unacceptable. Every year these evil doers keep doing more evil. It therefore stands to reason that as evil increases so does the total amount of unacceptability.

When I pointed this out to my liberal sister-in-law, Ginger, she laughed and said, "Maybe the real reason Bush keeps finding more things to be 'unacceptable' is that the rest of the world is finding him more unacceptable. It's a vicious cycle: as Bush is more and more unacceptable to reasonable people, he finds that the world is more and more unacceptable to him."

"That's nonsense," I shot back. "That's just liberal sophistry. You liberals love the unacceptable. Endorse and promote it. Like the liberals who released the story about that disgusting perderast, Foley. The timing was completely unacceptable."

Ginger laughed again. "Really? Was it? I'm so sorry to hear that."

"You liberals and your liberal cynicism and joking," I shot back. "It's impossible to have a reasonsed discussion with you. You are fundamentally unserious people."

"I've got to go, Paul," Ginger said at that point. "You make me tired."

Well, of course, I knew that was just a way for her to end the conversation because I was winning the argument. She's always doing that. Not only are Liberals sophists, they can't engage in healthy debate because they know they'll lose every time. So they whine and slink off to take naps and dream ridiculous liberal dreams full of cotton candy and ponies for everybody.

I don't know about you, but I think that's totally unacceptable!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, North Korea, Liberals, Iran

Bush Policies on N. Korea to Continue Another 10 Years

The American people like their presidents to be just plain folks, like Me & George W. They like the kind of president who they can see themselves having a beer and watching the game with. At the same time they want the kind of president who is never too busy to defend them against Islamofacists, Liberals and North Koreans. And Iranians. And that diablo peligroso, Hugo Chavez.

As I have said before, I see myself as being presidential timber of this beer drinking, television-watching, defending sort. That's because my life is so remarkably similar to George W. Bush's life. I think I have proven this beyond a shadow of a doubt at this point in time in this blog.

I must say in all honesty though that if I were to run for president I would have to stipulate at the outset that I do not drink beer -- Me & George W. are fond of bourbon -- but I think honesty is the best policy with the American people and that they'll understand. I mean, whatever floats your boat, right? As for the Islamofacists, Liberals and other members of the Axis of Evil -- well, I promise I will do just as good a job of protecting the American people as George W. does, too. I would keep Dick Cheney on as VP to make sure of that.

So I continue to think it's a good idea my running for president. I'm presently designing a bumpersticker to that effect. Here's what I've got so far:

World Bush-i-fication!
Vote Sark in 2008
Keep the Good Times Going!

What do you think, my fellow Americans? I look forward to your suggestions and comments.

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, North Korea, 2008, Iran

Bush Had "Inkling" About Foley 11 Years Ago -- And So Did I!

According to an article in the Washington Post a "former House page says he was warned in 1995 to steer clear of a freshman Republican from Florida [Mark Foley], who already was learning the names of the teenagers, dashing off notes, letters and e-mails to them and asking them to join him for ice cream."

The article goes on to say that "Mark Beck-Heyman, now a graduate student in clinical psychology at George Washington University, and more than a dozen other former House pages said in interviews and via e-mail that Rep. Mark Foley was known to be extraordinarily friendly in a way that made some of them uncomfortable."

It now occurs to me that George W. Bush had an inkling something wasn't "right" about Foley not just ten months ago as I previously reported here and not just 5 years ago as I reported here but in fact, had a previous inkling about Mark Foley 11 years ago in 1995, too.

How do I know this? Because I have a life that is amazingly similar to the life of George W. Bush and I had an inkling 11 years ago, too. If I had an inkling, chances are excellent that George W. had an inkling, too. After all, as masculine as Me & George W. are, we can sense "gayness" from a mile, or many miles, or even thousands of miles away, and even just from a photograph.

I now recall that I sent George W. a letter at the time asking him if he had a similar inkling about Mark Foley. And although I didn't hear back from George W., I assumed it had been taken care of, and, based on my similarity to George W., I'll bet he assumed that it had been taken care of, too.

So, there you have it. Me & George W. with our finely tuned gut feelings about people, especially gay people, had inklings and assumed it would be taken care of.

We both feel for Denny Hastert now, but frankly, Me & George W. tried as hard as we could!

As usual, Me & George W. remain blameless!



Technorati Tags: Bush, Foley, Sark, Man boy action, Hastert

Bush Had "Inkling" About Foley 5 Years Ago -- And So Did I!

It now appears that Republican congressman, Mark Foley, was known to have propositioned underage male pages not just ten months ago as originally reported, but sixty months ago.

Foley, who crusaded against child exploitation, resigned in disgrace on Friday after a slew of sexually explicit internet conversations with underage boys were made public.

It now occurs to me that George W. Bush had an inkling something wasn't "right" about Foley not just ten months ago as I previously reported, but in fact, had a previous inkling sixty months ago, too.

How do I know this? Because I have a life that is amazingly similar to the life of George Bush and I had an inkling 60 months ago, too. If I have an inkling, chances are better than 99 in 100 that George W. had an inkling, too.

I now recall that I sent George W. an email at the White House web site asking him if he had a similar inkling. I asked him if he had sent a note to Denny Hastert.

Although I didn't hear back from George W., I assumed it had been taken care of, and, based on my similarity to George W., I'll bet he assumed that it had been taken care of, too, when he sent the note to Denny Hastert. I mean it's just not the kind of thing you would forget.

So, there you have it. Me & George W., with our finely tuned gut feelings about people, had inklings and assumed it would be taken care of. We both feel for Denny Hastert, but frankly, he didn't take care of it, and now, well, that's his responsibility.

Me & George W. can't do everything!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Foley, Sark, Man boy action, Perversity

Bush Sensed Foley's Perversity 10 Months Ago -- And I Knew About It, Too!

As the world now knows, Republican congressman, Mark Foley, who crusaded against child exploitation, resigned in disgrace on Friday after a slew of sexually explicit internet conversations with underage boys were made public.

"I think the Democratic leadership should have been told 10 months ago," said Rep. Jane Harman of California, top Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, referring to the fact that the top Republican Denny Hastert had been told about the emails 10 months before. "I gather that basically nothing was done except that Foley was warned."

George W. Bush had an inkling something wasn't "right" about Foley 10 months ago. He asked his wife, Laura to remind him to look into it, but Ms. Bush forgot.

How do I know this? Because I have a life that is amazingly similar to the life of George Bush and I had a dream in which I was party to a conversation between George W. and Laura about his inkling.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but now I see how important it was. I wish I had taken the time to remind George W. to check into that Foley guy!

Anyway, here's the dream I had ten months ago about George W.'s inkling:

George and Laura Bush were getting ready for bed when the President, wadding up his jockey shorts and tossing them across the bedroom into the open hamper in the corner said suddenly: "Laura, honey, I got a bad feelin' about that Foley fellow down there in Florida."

"What kind of bad feelin', Lil' Daddy?" Laura asked lazily, slipping out of her brassiere and reaching for her negligee.

"Somethin' about him I don't like," George said. "The way he's always talkin' about helpin' the poor missin' kids? Remember that fella Father Bruce Ritter in New York? Everyone thought he was just helpin' those runaways, but he was engagin' in abominations with them poor boys!"

"He was a friend of Big Daddy's," Laura recalled, fluffing up her pillow and stretching out kittenishly. "I think he had dinner here at the White House, didn't he?" She reached over to her bedside table, found her cigarettes and ashtray. "Can you pour me a bourbon, Georgie Dub?" she asked, lighting up, blowing a perfect smoke ring toward the ceiling.

"Remind me in the mornin' to call ol' Denny Hastert," George said, pulling on his pajama bottoms. "I feel somethin' in my gut. Somethin' ain't right about him."

"I feel somethin', too, Georgie Dub," Laura said, slapping the empty space next to her on the bed. "So why you puttin' on your PJs, Lil' Daddy? Pour a bourbon for yourself and get on over here."

"What's the ol' sayin' about power you're always quotin' to me?" George asked absentmindedly, ignoring Laura's request.

"Oh, you mean "power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Was that Shakespeare who said that?"

"It was Lord Acton, honey," Laura said gently. "Can you pour us some bourbons now. I've got a powerful thirst."

"Maybe I should have that put in a speech," George said, walking to the liquor cabinet. "Somethin' about freedom and corruption. How free and powerful people can either choose good clean power, or bad corrupt power."

"That's fine, honey," Laura said with a trace of impatience. "But no speechifying tonight, darling. Tonight I want to see that man of action that I married."

"What's that -- hmmm -- Oh yeah," George said, at last catching on to Laura's overtures. "I'm your man of action, baby!"

"Hot action," Laura corrected him. "Hot hot action between a married man and his wife. The only kind that God allows."

"What is it about folks like Ritter and Foley that they want that man boy action?" George wondered aloud, bringing the bourbon bottle and glasses over to the bed. "I mean I get sick just thinkin' about it."

"Oh I don't know, Georgie," Laura said, accepting the glass from her husband and taking a sip. "From what I hear tell in most of them porn videos there's almost always hot girl on girl action. Men seem to like that."

"But that's different," George said, raising his eyebrows. "That's entirely different. That's not a degrading abomination, that's just honest masculine curiousity thinkin' about that."

"Did you ever think about that, Georgie," Laura asked sweetly, stirring the bourbon with her index finger. "Did you ever want to have two women at once?"

George stood up, his face suddenly flushed. "And I suppose you want it with two men at the same time! Is that what you're sayin'? You and Big Daddy and Colin Powell, maybe? Don't you ever go and think that I'll forget how you -- oh my God in Heaven: did you do it with both of them at the same time? -- you harlot, you slut, you horny bitch!"

"No, Georgie, no!" Laura said fearfully, tears springing to her eyes. "Don't start that again! I'm faithful, I'm your faithful wife -- you know that!"

George W. pointed to the chest of drawers across the room. "Is that the chiffarobe you asked Colin to bust up for you? Is that the one?"

Then he pointed to Laura. "If anybody's gonna be busting up your chiffarobe, it's gonna be me!"

That's when I woke up.

I remember I thought that I should probably email George W. as a second reminder to Laura's, but I was sure she'd remember to tell him. I'm not blaming Laura for not reminding him. I couldn't blame her without blaming myself. I just thought the American people should know that just like his gut feelings about WMD in Iraq, George W. had a gut feeling about Foley, too.

Sometimes I'm just so proud to be so similar to George W.!


Technorati Tags: Bush, Foley, Sark, Man boy action, Perversity