George Bush and "Shim Theory"

Yesterday, George W. Bush met with business leaders of the Lebanon Private Sector Initiative (LBSI) in the Oval Office to discuss business and democracy.

The leaders included CEO John Chambers of Cisco Systems, Craig Barret of Intel Corp., CEO Ray Irani of Occidental Petroleum Corp.

President Bush stated during the meeting: "Our goal, and our mission, is to help Lebanese citizens and Lebanese businesses not only recover, but to flourish, because we believe strongly in the concept of a democracy in Lebanon." He also said: "May God bless the good people of Lebanon."

I, Paul M. Sark, whose life is strikingly similar to that of George W. Bush recently said something very similar to my wife. Last night in fact. I said: "America's goal and mission is to help Lebanese citizens and Lebanese businesses not only recover, but flourish because Me & George W. believe strongly in business in Lebanon as the first step to a real democracy. Selfless American businessmen want nothing more than to help establish a beach head for business and promote democracy."

My wife, who tends to be non-committal when it comes to politics thought it sounded like a good idea. "That's great, honey," she said. "Can you help me shim up the bookcase in the living room? It's a little tippy since we rearranged the furniture over the weekend."

A lightbulb went on in my head. I snapped my fingers in delight and said: "In a way, that's what Me & George W. do to promote democracy -- rearrange a country's furniture to get better circulation, better circulation of people and money and democracy!" I went to the desk and made a note of this revelation.

While I was writing down "Furniture, Circulation, Money, Democracy" my wife asked: "Isn't what George W. does more like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic?"

"In a way, yes," I agreed. "Except that when people like Me & George W. rearrange the furniture on deck, we also rearrange things in the engine room. And once we get that engine room humming, countries like Lebanon are able to avoid economic icebergs and sail safely into the welcoming harbor of global capitalism."

"Can you help me now do you think?" my wife asked. "This bookcase is really tippy."

I took the shims from my wife, leaned into the bookcase and stuck two shims under the bottom right corner. Standing up, I took satisfaction in my work.

"Sometimes all a country needs is a one shim, but sometimes two," I said. "Some shims need to be really big. But as the largest economy in the world we are happy to shim up countries like Lebanon so that they can stand up proudly and participate in global democracy."

"It's still a little tippy," my wife said, rocking the bookcase forward and backward. "Maybe we need another one?"

"Me & George W. have plenty of shims," I agreed. "And so does Cisco, Intel and Occidental Petroleum."

"Why don't you go work on your deck chair ideas now," my wife suggested, holding out her hand for the shims. "I'll take care of this."

"It's all about shimming and cooperation," I said, my brain firing on all cylinders. "Thanks, honey, for all the great ideas."

I worked on my shim ideas until dinner and got it to the point where I think I have a new business model for the United States and the rest of the world. You've heard of String Theory? Well, let me tell you, that's nothing compared to Shim Theory!

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