Dick Cheney Drinking, Advising Again in Brooklyn

Amazingly, Dick Cheney was in Brooklyn again last night at my local hangout, McCann's Lounge, drinking shots of Jim Beam and buying shots for everyone at the bar.

He came back expressly to talk to me and to give me more advice on running for president of the Union Street Block Association.

War on Terror," he growled. "9/11. Lower taxes. Releasing entrepreneurial spirit of average American."

"You're so consistent, Mr. Cheney," I replied. "That's exactly what you told me last night."

Mr. Cheney tossed down a fresh triple, slamming the empty down on the bar as he finished, his eyes red and brimming. "Never explain, never apologize," he barked. "Never give a sucker an even break."

"Exactly what you said last night," I said, shaking my head in awe. "It's like George W.'s policy in Iraq. To question the invasion is to create doubt. Doubters are defeatists. Defeatists will infect the body politic and actually cause defeat."

"No retreat, baby, no surrender," sang Mr. Cheney in a surprisingly operatic baritone. Then he shouted "Bruuuuuce!" and ran out into the night, his Secret Service detail chasing him down the street.

So may God bless Dick Cheney! And may God smite the Doubters!

P.S. Dick Cheney drawing courtesy of craftmonkeys.typepad.com

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