Condie, Showing Sensitive Side, Returns to Washington

Today U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice canceled talks in Beirut and planned to leave Jerusalem for Washington. The cancellation came after Israeli airstrikes Sunday killed dozens of women and children in Qana, Lebanon.

"Condie doesn't show her sensitive side too often," said Paul M. Sark, a conservative in Brooklyn who has been following the career of Secretary Rice closely since he began to dream about her last week. "When children get killed it bothers her. That's why she's coming back home."

Mr. Sark, who leads a life that is amazingly similar to that of George W. Bush, is looking forward to Rice's return to Washington, and assumes George W. Bush is looking forward to her return, too.

"He is a very loyal to Condie," Sark said. "In fact, he's loyal to all the people who have served him so well in working to inculcate democracy in Afghanistan, Iraq, and now in Lebanon."

Sark also admitted to a personal reason for looking forward to Ms. Rice's return. "Every time Condie returns to America from one of her successful missions overseas, there is a manifestation of her ambergris-based perfume in my living room," he explained. "And when I smell it, I'm overcome with a sense of anticipation for the new birth of freedom in the Middle East that Condie is laboring so hard to bring forth."

Asked by his liberal sister-in-law, Ginger, if he would use pregnancy and birth metaphors if Ms. Rice were a man, Mr. Sark responded: "Lincoln said 'new birth of freedom' in the Gettysburg Address. He wasn't a woman. He was great Republican like Condie."

Asked by Ginger if he was comparing Ms. Rice to Lincoln, Mr. Sark stood up from his favorite chair in the living room, paced for a few moments, then retorted with manful self-control: "Why not? Why can't a woman be compared to a man? Is there something wrong with that?"

Told that he was missing the point, Sark shot back: "The point is that the American people expect their leaders to do whatever it takes to promote freedom and democracy in the world and at home. Like George Bush said about Iraq: 'after three decades of tyranny, this work is not easy.' That's what you cut-and-run liberals don't understand."

"Condie is spearheading a new State Department," Sark went on, flipping open his laptop and firing up the browser. "According to the State Department website she's instituting something new in the world: Transformational Diplomacy."

Sark clicked on his bookmarked links and read to his sister-in-law the following passage from a speech Ms. Rice gave in January, 2006:

"Transformational diplomacy is rooted in partnership, not paternalism -- in doing things with other people, not for them. ...Now, to advance transformational diplomacy all around the world, we in the State Department must rise to answer a new historic calling. ...Like the great changes of the past, the new efforts we undertake today will not be completed tomorrow. Transforming the State Department is the work of a generation. But it is urgent work that cannot be deferred.”

When his sister-in-law Ginger said that Ms. Rice's words were just the "diplomatic gobbledegook version of Bush's policy of pre-emption, also known as doing whatever the hell he wants," Mr. Sark asked her to leave his house.

Mr. Sark, pouring himself a drink after Ginger went to brunch with his wife, sat down again in his favorite chair and said: "Look, all I know is that when Condi does finally get to Lebanon trailing the fumes of freedom and armed with her transformational diplomacy, that everything's going to turn out just fine."

Asked why he was writing about himself in the third-person on his own blog, Sark astringently replied that like those in Bush administration whom he so admires he saw himself as a "realist, who always looks at the world objectively, and in looking at the world objectively doesn't rule out the feeling in his 'gut'"

"Because my life is so similar to George W.'s, and because his gut is what enables him to see the world objectively, I've got to follow my gut, too, and my gut told me to write this entry in the third person."

"Did you know that ambergris comes from the intestine of the sperm whale," Sark asked after his gut remarks, pouring himself another drink. "So that's some awful powerful mojo Condie's got. And along with Bush's gut, I'm sure that we're going to see a very new Middle East very soon."

Technorati Tags: Qana, Condi, Lebanon, Mideast, Condoleeza Rice

Condi Shuttles Back to Mideast, Scenting Peace, Freedom

Condoleeza Rice is going back to the Middle East again to promote the causes of freedom and peace in war-torn Lebanon. She will arrive in Jerusalem this evening.

In a related story, I, Paul M. Sark, experienced another manifestation of Condi's remarkable perfume in my living room in Brooklyn late last night.

Having apparently sensed even in my long summer's nap the remarkably rare scent of Condi's ambergris-based perfume, I arose from my bed and followed the tingling in my nose to its source by the living room fireplace.

"This time her peace mission will bear fruit," I thought aloud, drinking deeply of the tantalizing odor. I thought how lucky are Me and George W. and other world leaders to experience the compelling smell of freedom and democracy whenever Condi comes into a room.

"Honey," I shouted to my wife. "It's Condie again. Come and smell!"

My wife had doubted me earlier in the week when I told her about Condi's perfume, and so I was seeking vindication. It took some doing, but I finally convinced her to get out of bed and smell for herself.

"It's from downstairs," my wife said with a yawn. "That single girl probably has her boyfriend over and they're probably burning scented candles." She sniffed a couple of times, wrinkled her nose and said, "Bayberry."

"Bayberry? That's a Christmas candle smell," I scoffed. "It's not Christmas, it's Condi!"

"Same thing," my wife shot back, turning and leaving the room. "To you at any rate."

I was sorry then to have awakened her. She had spoiled my meditation on the powerful scent of Condi as a powerful force for good.

Doubters may doubt, but their doubts will not change the course of history as delineated in The Wall Street Journal and in Revelations.

Whether we reach a state of absolute freedom through the free market, through a final Biblical conflagration, or a combination of both, Condi and her miraculous perfume is leading the way!

May God bless either or both Outcomes! And Condi's part in making freedom happen!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Condi, Lebanon, Mideast, Condoleeza Rice

Dick Cheney Drinking, Advising Again in Brooklyn

Amazingly, Dick Cheney was in Brooklyn again last night at my local hangout, McCann's Lounge, drinking shots of Jim Beam and buying shots for everyone at the bar.

He came back expressly to talk to me and to give me more advice on running for president of the Union Street Block Association.

War on Terror," he growled. "9/11. Lower taxes. Releasing entrepreneurial spirit of average American."

"You're so consistent, Mr. Cheney," I replied. "That's exactly what you told me last night."

Mr. Cheney tossed down a fresh triple, slamming the empty down on the bar as he finished, his eyes red and brimming. "Never explain, never apologize," he barked. "Never give a sucker an even break."

"Exactly what you said last night," I said, shaking my head in awe. "It's like George W.'s policy in Iraq. To question the invasion is to create doubt. Doubters are defeatists. Defeatists will infect the body politic and actually cause defeat."

"No retreat, baby, no surrender," sang Mr. Cheney in a surprisingly operatic baritone. Then he shouted "Bruuuuuce!" and ran out into the night, his Secret Service detail chasing him down the street.

So may God bless Dick Cheney! And may God smite the Doubters!

P.S. Dick Cheney drawing courtesy of craftmonkeys.typepad.com

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Iraq, Lebanon, Sark, Bush

Dick Cheney Drinking, Advising in Brooklyn

Dick Cheney was in Brooklyn last night at a local hangout, McCann's Lounge, silently and powerfully drinking shot after shot of Jim Beam. He left without paying. A regular patron at McCann's -- me, Paul M. Sark -- was happy to pick up Cheney's $42 tab.

Why? Because I'm running for president of the Union Street Block Association on the neo-conservative line. The fact that Mr. Cheney was here in Brooklyn was a sign to me that I have the support of national conservatives in my campaign to put left-wing Brooklyn right, if you know what I mean.

Mr. Cheney, when I asked him if he had any advice for my campaign, stared long and hard into his shot glass. He shifted on his stool, and rolled his shoulders. "War on Terror," he growled. "9/11. Lower taxes. Releasing entrepreneurial spirit of average American."

Mr. Cheney then ordered three more shots and tossed them down one after the other, slamming the empties down on the bar as he finished each one. Getting up to leave, his parting words to me were: "Never explain, never apologize. Never give a sucker an even break." He lumbered outside to his waiting limousine and disappeared into the Brooklyn night.

I swore to myself then that in my campaign for president of the Union Street Block Association I would follow his dictates to the letter. After all, Dick Cheney, successful businessman and top-notch vice president knows a thing or two about terror in addition to running a successful campaign. Both political and military.

So may God bless Dick Cheney! And the American entrepreneurial spirit!

Technorati Tags: Cheney, Iraq, Lebanon, Sark, Sage Advice

Condi, En Route to Middle East, Makes Stop in Brooklyn

President Bush in his radio address on Saturday said he had directed Secretary of State Rice to travel to the Middle East in the coming days to discuss the best ways to resolve the crisis in the Middle East.

Bush promised that "Secretary Rice will make it clear that resolving the crisis demands confronting the terrorist group that launched the attacks and the nations that support it."

In an interesting parallel, I, Paul M. Sark, had a dream last night in which I directed Condi Rice to travel to my neighborhood to resolve the crisis with my sister-in-law, Ginger, who continues to launch attacks upon me.

In my dream, Condi looked tough but fair, powerful but feminine. As I told her about the attacks upon me, her eyes grew hard and tight, reminding me of the steely resolve of Vice President Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. I knew then I was in good hands.

"A ceasefire would be a false promise if it simply returns us to the status quo," Secretary Rice snarled, her bewitching incisors flashing in the candlelight.

"Such a step would allow terrorists like Ginger to launch attacks at the time and terms of their choosing and to threaten innocent people and throughout the region of Brooklyn."

"You are so right, Condi," I shouted, jumping up out of the chair. She leaped across the living room, jumped into my arms and then gave me a fierce bear hug, nearly crushing the breath out of me.

I woke up with a powerful impression that Condi had actually been with me in my living room. Climbing out of bed, knowing that it was ridiculous, I walked down the hall to check it out.

As I got closer, I picked up the scent of an amazing perfume and recognized it from my dream as Condi's. Although I've never smelled ambergris, I immediately registered it as such. Could it be that the dream was so powerful that it left behind the smell of Condi, I wondered. Or am I imagining it all?

Either way it was fitting that the figment of Condi should leave behind the scent of this rare substance, secreted in the intestines of the sperm whale, prized for centuries as the key ingredient in the finest perfumes. For she too is a rare specimen, a key ingredient in that rare assemblage of men and women who comprise the Bush administration.

My wife called out to me from the bedroom, asking me what I was doing up, telling me it was the middle of the night.

I took a final whiff of Condi and walked slowly back to to the bedroom, my heart bouyant with the knowledge that Condi and her colleagues remain firmly in control of our embattled but still more than seaworthy ship of state.

Technorati Tags: Bush, Condi, Lebanon, Sark, Sperm whale

Bush Endorses Freedom in Middle East: Sark Does Too!

Today, President Bush in his radio address spoke about positive vales of freedom and decisiveness in the face of insecurity and instability in the Middle East.

I, Paul M. Sark, conservative candidate for the office of President of the Union Street Block Association and a man whose life is amazingly similar to that of George W. Bush, today spoke decisively about the universal value of freedom.

If you read what George W. Bush said on the radio, followed by my address to my liberal sister-in-law, Ginger, I think you'll have to agree that Bush's foreign policy is remarkably similar to my domestic policy.

PRESIDENT BUSH (Saturday Radio Address): The world's best hope for lasting security and stability across the Middle East is the establishment of free and just societies. America and our allies will act decisively because we know our security is at stake in this struggle and we know the cause of freedom will prevail.

PAUL M. SARK (addressing Ginger): The world's best hope for lasting security and stability across Union Street is the establishment of a free and just and conservative society. My allies and I will act decisively because we know our security is at stake in this struggle and we know the cause of freedom will prevail.

George W. in his radio address did not have to take any guff from his audience. That's one of the great things he has going for him. He can just pretty much say what he wants to say most of the time.

On the other hand, when I addressed Ginger, I had to defend my views. Which is easy, because liberals have no ideas. Or if they do, they're so convoluted that nobody understands them.

Conservative ideas on the other hand are simple and based on a deep understanding of human nature. Which is why we're right and liberals are always wrong. Just ask Ann Coulter.

Anyway, read what Ginger said, and see how easily I reveal the flaws in her liberal talking points:

GINGER (liberal sister-in-law): "You and George W. -- always with the glittering generalities about "freedom" and "security." Whose freedom? Our freedom to invade Iraq, destabilize and destroy it? Or the Iraqi people's freedom to get killed in the civil war that we unleashed?"

PAUL M. SARK (addressing Ginger): "You are free to leave, Ginger. Free to leave Union Street. Free to leave America. Free to go to Iraq and join with the terrorists if you want. That's what freedom is here in America."

GINGER, rolling eyes: "Oh, no. Here we go. America: Love It or Leave It. What makes you think anybody on Union Street is going to buy that garbage? Most of the people in the neighborhood were either draft resisters, or are the children of draft resisters. They see right through that Karl Rove divide and conquer crap."

PAUL M. SARK, cagily:"How much you want to bet some of them went on Freedom Marches? Or went on Freedom Rides in the South back in the 60s? And sang songs about Freedom? And still do?"

GINGER (exasperatedly): "You've got to be kidding me."

PAUL M. SARK:"They agree with me that freedom is a universal value. And that's why they'll vote for me. And if you really believed in freedom, you'd support this administration's tax policies and let people keep more of their own money to and spend it in ways that will keep America strong."

GINGER: "Your idea of freedom is not their idea of freedom, Paul. Your idea of freedom is to let poor people starve. Freely."

Having prevailed in the eternal fight for freedom at this point, I bid Ginger goodbye and went home, congratulating myself on my remarkable powers of political insight and persuasion.


Technorati Tags: Bush, Freedom, Union Street, Sark, Iraq

Bush Preaches Tough Love to NAACP: Sark Preaches, Too!

President Bush, in a gesture of cross-racial understanding, spoke at the NAACP, an assembly he had never before addressed as President. Nor, as governer. Nor as a candidate for either office.

I, Paul M. Sark, addressed an assembly of African-Americans recently, too. I'm running for the office of President of the Union Street Block Association, and perhaps the presidency of the United States in a couple of years.

Me & George W. know that there's a time to burn bridges and a time to build them. We're in the building part of the cycle now.

Anyway, what Me & George W. said was remarkably similar. Read the last paragraph of George W.'s address, then the last paragraph of mine. See if you don't agree:

PRESIDENT BUSH (speaking to NAACP): There's an old Methodist hymn that speaks of God guiding us with a hand of power and a heart of love. We cannot know God's plans, but we trust in his purposes, because we know that the Creator who wrote the desire for liberty in our hearts also gives us the strength and wisdom to fulfill it. And the God who has brought us thus far on the way will give us the strength to finish the journey.

Thank you for having me. May God bless. (Applause.)

PAUL M. SARK (speaking to a group of African American bicyclists in front of Dixon's Bike Shop on Union Street): There's an old Methodist hymn called "The Old Rugged Cross" that speaks of the cross as an emblem of suffering and pain, or maybe shame. We cannot know God's plans for how much pain He intends for you to bear, but since he's the Decider, you people have got to understand that He's gonna decide how much more you're gonna have to take. We all have our crosses to bear, some bigger and scratchier than others, true. But we're all Americans, and that's what we can never forget.

Thank you for having me. May God bless. (No Applause)

Me & George W. know that tough love is the love that gets things done.

Masculine Christianity. That's what we practice. Sure, God's merciful, but only up to a point. And we've more than reached that point now.

God passed out the crosses in a reasonably fair and equitable manner. And now we get to bear them for Him. End of story.

So, God bless freedom and liberty and the suffering and pain necessary to promote and defend them!

Technorati Tags: Bush, NAACP, Rugged Cross, Sark, President

Bush and Putin Disagree on Basics

Me & George W. know that you can tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear. It's one of the things that give us a leg up on most other people.

In the blow-up photograph below (taken yesterday in St. Petersburg) you can see that George W.'s shoes reflect his solid, feet-on-the-ground outlook on foreign and domestic policy issues and his adherence to Biblical principles. Not flashy, not fashionable. These are the shoes of a traditionalist and a conservative.

On the other hand, Putin's shoes have semi-pointy toes -- the shoes of a man who cannot be trusted. Of a man who carries a switchblade in his inside coat pocket. Of a man who grew up as a sneaky communist and is only pretending to embrace the universal value of freedom.


George W. knows this. Sharp-eyed like the American eagle, he can see the shoes of Putin for what they are: a sign of his perfidy, his Marxist-Lennist revolutionary tendencies.

These are the shoes of the current president of the Union Street Block Association, against whom I am running for that office.

Clearly, these are not the shoes of a man who should be running anything except an organic food emporium, which in fact he does. Radically anti-traditional shoes. Liberal shoes.

These, on the other hand, are my shoes: the shoes of a man who will bring Union Street out of the darkness of the failed Marxist-Leninist policies of the past and into the glare of a bright new morning of freedom for real Americans!


Technorati Tags: Bush, Putin, People's Shoes, Sark, President

Bush Relies on Entreprenuerial Americans: And So Do I!

George W. Bush made a speech today about "the people's money" and thanked the entreprenueurial American people for being entreprenuers and growing the economy.

A stirring speech as always, and, as always remarkably similar to a speech I made to the current treasurer of the Union Street Block Association last night.

I was talking to the treasurer because in my run for president of the block association, I've been inspecting the association's finances. I have found that it has been running on tired old liberal economic assumptions -- like donations, raffles and fund-raising block parties. I felt compelled, therefore to make a little speech to the treasurer.

So, first read a section from George W.'s speech today, and then read what I said to the block association treasurer last night, what he said back to me, and what I said back to him.

PRESIDENT BUSH(The White House, East Room): We said we got an economic issue, and we're going to let you have more of your own money to help us recover from recession, the stock market correction and terrorist attacks and war and natural disasters, and the people haven't let us down, have they? This economy is strong.

PAUL M. SARK (The Tea Lounge, Main Room): I say we got an economic issue, and we got to let people on Union Street have more of their own money to help us recover from recession, the stock market correction and terrorist attacks and war and natural disasters. The people of Union Street won't let us down. This economy is strong.

UNION STREET BLOCK ASSOCIATION TREASURER: So what are you proposing, Mr. Sark? That we have fund-raiser block parties and let the people running the games and doing the face-painting keep the money? Tell people to keep their donations and spend it on preventing terrorist attacks?

PAUL M. SARK: You are so old economy! We can start our own Union Street Stock Exchange for one thing. For another, we can start our own Union Street Commodities Exchange. Think of the possibilities!

Well, I guess I "blew his mind," because at that point the liberal treasurer just stared at me and stared at me. Then he wished me good luck in the election and bolted.

Sound conservative fiscal policy is something a lot of people in my liberal neighborhood just don't understand.

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, People's Money, Winning Elections, President

James Baker: To Defend Mexico's Lopez Obrador or Brooklyn's Sark?

Paul M. Sark announced today that he has asked James Baker III to serve as the "closure expert" in his 2006 campaign for president of the Union Street Block Association in Brooklyn, NY. The Brooklyn election is expected to hotly contested.

"James Baker's stellar efforts on behalf of George W. Bush in Florida in the 2000 election makes him the obvious choice for what is sure to be a tight race here in Brooklyn," said Sark on Sunday.

Sark admitted he is concerned that Mr. Baker may have been retained by Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador the Mexican politician who is fighting for a recount in Mexico's recent presidential election. "But if he is going to work for Lopez Obrador, I'm confident he will achieve closure within a matter of days," Sark said.

Asked why he thought James Baker would consider working on behalf of the liberal left Lopez Obrador instead of center-right, pro-business Felipe Calderón, Sark replied: "James Baker fought for the underdog in 2000, George W. Bush. He's a man of principle and if he's thinking of stepping into the Mexico elections, I'm sure he'll go where he's needed most."

Sark, a conservative Republican in one of the most Democratic districts in the United States, said that although he is confident of victory, having Baker in his corner would render the actual election results moot.

"When Mr. Baker starts talking about closure, people just give in," Sark explained. "In addition, my polling data shows that there's a lot of therapists and psychologists on the block. So even though they're all Democrats, they'll be helpless in the face of James' "closure routine."


Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Mexico Elections, Winning Elections, James Baker

Bush Shares Secret of Winning Elections; Sark Shares Same

President George W. Bush shared some of the secrets of winning elections at his press conference in Chicago yesterday. Confident of victory, Bush told a skeptical reporter that he was looking forward to the elections.

Yesterday, I also had occasion to share some secrets of winning elections: I'm currently running for president of our local block association. I shared my secrets with a skeptical neighbor. (Me & George W. are used to skeptics; they don't bother us).

Read what George W. said, followed by what I said, and then ask yourself if our beliefs on winning elections are amazingly similar or not. I think you'll say, yes, Mr. Sark, they are!

PRESIDENT BUSH (Museum of Science and Industry, Chicago, Illinois): Here's how you win elections. You win elections by believing something. You win elections by having a plan to protect the American people from terrorist attack. You win elections by having a philosophy that has actually produced results -- economic growth, for example -- or kind of changing the school systems for the better, or providing prescription drug coverage for elders. That's how you win elections.

PAUL M. SARK (Tea Lounge, Brooklyn, NY): Here's how you win elections. You win elections by saying your opponent believes in socialism and therefore sympathizes with terrorists. You win elections by having a philosophy that promises results -- economic growth is always a good one -- or kind of changing the school system somehow for the better, or providing a little pocket money to the old people on this block so they can buy a bagel or two to spread their cat food pate' on. That's how you win elections.

So go ahead. Say it. Say: "Yes Mr. Sark, your beliefs and George W. beliefs are amazingly similar."

Good. Now say: "The universal value of freedom is universally valued, and the more people that come to value it, universally, the more universal it will become." Excellent!

Now say, as Me & George W. say: "God bless American freedom!" Now quickly say: "You have my vote, Mr. Sark!"

Thank you for your vote, neighbor, and don't forget, a vote for Sark is both a vote for freedom and kind of changing schools or something, and a vote against liberal terrorist unfreedom!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Freedom, Winning Elections, Terrorists

George W. Dreams Only of America; And So Do I!

George W. Bush is very busy these days winning all the wars that America is currently engaged in: the War on Flag Burning, the War on the New York Times, the War on Mexican Immigrants, the War on Liberal Skeptics, to name just a few. He doesn't have a lot of time to read or think about poetry.

But knowing how much George W. cares about education, I believe he would encourage the American people to take a little time out from fighting all the wars he's asked us to fight on America's behalf and read at least a little poetry.

Below are a few stanzas of a poem about America by John Ashbery, an American, recommended by a person who commented on one of my previous posts. I can't say as I really understand the poem; but it does have America in the title, and it doesn't mention flag-burning, liberals, Mexicans, or left-wing celebrities, so I assume it's patriotic.

Also, the person who commented -- who signed in as "this doesn't require thinking" -- was pretty funny, calling George W. a "certified idiot." I sometimes like that kind of sarcastic humor where you say exactly the opposite of what you mean. But anyway, I figure this person was being serious about the poem being a good one.

If you want to actually hear the entire poem, click on the title. It'll take you to a website at the University of Pennsylvania where you can hear a recording of John Ashbery reading it. It's down toward the bottom of the page under the heading "22 and 23."

By the way, Ashbery doesn't sound un-American either, so that's another reason why I guess this poem is okay.

THEY DREAM ONLY OF AMERICA
John Ashbery

They dream only of America
To be lost among the thirteen million
pillars of grass
“This honey is delicious
Though it burns the throat”

And hiding from darkness in barns
They can be grownups now
And the murderer’s ashtray is more
easily—
The lake a lilac cube

He holds a key in his right hand
“Please,” he asks willingly,
He is thirty years old. . . .


Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, America, Ashery, Flag Burning

Bush Loves Both Dreamers & Managers: So Does Sark!

President Bush yesterday at a Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins in Virginia made a speech about immigration reform in which he talked about deserving immigrants like the Iranians who opened the donut shop.

He also talked about undeserving immigrants who need immigration papers to work in donut shops and who should get the hell out of the U.S. if they don't.

As always, he delivered a cogent message, a lot like the message I delivered to my wife the other day.

Here's a selected paragraph from George W.'s speech, followed by a selected paragraph from my speech to my wife. Read them both and see if you don't agree that they are amazingly similar!

PRESDIENT BUSH (Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins, Alexandria, VA): I cannot tell you how I love being with entrepreneurs and dreamers and doers and people who are running things, and managers, and to be with my fellow citizens as we talk about a very important public policy, and that's rational, comprehensive immigration reform.

PAUL M. SARK (In Kitchen at Home, Brooklyn, NY): I cannot tell you how I hate being with non-entrepreneurs and non-dreamers and non-doers and people who are not running things, and non-managers, and union members and liberal democrats when they try to talk about a very important public policy, and that's rational, comprehensive immigration reform.

Me & George W. say:

May God bless the doers, dreamers and deciders that keep America strong!

May God smite the lollygaggers, loafers and liberals who fight to keep America weak!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Immigrants, Freedom, Managers

Bush "Braggs" on World's Most Powerful Military: So Do I!

President Bush yesterday made an Independence Day speech at Fort Bragg, North Carolina in which he thanked the men and women of our military past and present for their service.

It was an inspiring speech as all of his speeches are and remarkably similar to a speech I made in the backyard at my sister-in-law's house.

Here's a selected paragraph George W.'s speech, followed by a selected paragraph from my speech. Read them both and see if you don't agree that they are amazingly similar!

PRESIDENT BUSH (Iron Mike Plaza, Fort Bragg, NC): We celebrate Independence Day each year because that ragtag group of citizen soldiers challenged the world's most powerful military, secured our liberty and planted a standard of freedom to which the entire world has aspired.

PAUL M. SARK (In-Law's Backyard, Brooklyn, NY): In celebrating Independence Day this year let's not forget that rag tag group of Iraqi insurgents who are challenging the world's most powerful military, who are trying to prevent us from planting our standard of freedom to which the entire world aspires.

So like Me & George W. like to say: Let freedom ring! HOOAHH!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Iraq, Freedom, HOOAHH!

Gore's Inconvenient Truth -- Not True!

When asked if he would see Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth," George W. Bush said: "Doubt it."

Because my life and the life of George W. Bush are amazingly similar, I doubted I would see it either. But last night, my liberal sister-in-law, Ginger, insisted I go, and so in the interest of family harmony, I did.

What a crock! Al Gore loses the election in 2000, and so instead of taking it like a man, he comes up with this holier-than-thou movie as a way to get back at George Bush. It's pitiful, really pitiful.

No wonder Rush Limbaugh talks about it so much. I mean it's so obviously fake -- all the statistics are clearly pulled out of thin air. All the "evidence" is absurd.

It's sad really. Particularly comical is when Gore shows that old hoax footage of the moon landing. Everyone with eyes to see and a brain to think knows it was put together in some Hollywood studio. And it was way before "blue screen" technology so you can tell they used wires to make the puppet astronauts look like they're "weightless."

Nice try, Mr. Gore. Climb back into your tree, hug your owls and leave the thinking and deciding to people like Me & George W.!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Gore, An Inconvenient Truth, Fake Moon Landing, Treasonous Loser

Bush: Radical Cabals Seek to Curtail Freedom; Sark Says Same

Me & George W. know that the Supreme Court and the New York Times are basically the same thing: elitist liberal cabals out to subvert the will of the American people.

Strong language? As men of the people, we aren't afraid to tell the truth. Neither is FoxNews.

The Supreme Court, by forcing the Bush administration's to honor military law and the Geneva Convention is a judiciary that insists on drafting legislation from the bench.

Similarly, the New York Times, by leaking information about how the government is pursuing terrorists is setting itself up as a separate branch of the government, a branch intent on destroying the right of the American people not to be killed in their beds, their cars, or their pleasure boats.

Is this the kind of America American's want? Is it the kind of America that George W. Bush, Don Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Paul Bremer, Dick Cheney, and Scooter Libby want? An America where a handful of radical ideologues can unilaterally decide what's best for the American people and the world?

Hell no!

The America Americans want is an America whose leaders always have the best interests of Americans at heart and always know what's best for them.

Exactly the kind of America which Me & George W want, too!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Cabal, Treasonous Supreme Court, Treasonous New York Times, Treason

No Mention of NY Times Treason in Bush July 4th Proclamation; But Mine Does!

Finally! It's out!

Yes! George W. Bush released his July Fourth Proclamation three days early!

He's proactive, that George W. Bush. But so am I. I wrote mine yesterday!

And you know what? George W's proclamation uncannily similar to my July Fourth proclamation. Of course that's to be expected given the amazing similarity between my life and the life of George W. Bush. Mine's a little more topical than his maybe, but, still they're very similar.

But see for yourself: here's a selected paragraph from George W.'s proclamation, followed by one from mine:

Proclamation By George W. Bush, President: Independence Day, 2006
As we celebrate our independence, Americans can take pride in our history and look to the future with confidence. We offer our gratitude to all the American patriots, past and present, who have sought to advance freedom and lay the foundations of peace. Because of their sacrifice, this country remains a beacon of hope for all who dream of liberty and a shining example to the world of what a free people can achieve.

May God continue to bless the United States of America.

Proclamation By Paul M. Sark, Citizen, Independence Day, 2006
As we celebrate our independence, real Americans can be prideful. We offer our gratitude to American patriots, and utter contempt to liberals past and present, who have sought to stop freedom's grand march and destroy the foundations of America freedom. Because of their liberal weakness, this country's reputation had been tarnished until we conservatives came along.

Now a beacon of hope for all who dream of liberty and a shining example to the world of what a free people can achieve, I, Paul M. Sark, to counter the treasonous New York Times' reporting on security matters, do hereby outlaw all Fourth of July picnics to be given or attended by New York Times staff this July Fourth. And if they do have the nerve to have picnics, may they all burn their hands on the grill, and may they be forced to eat plain yellow mustard like the rest of America instead of that spicy Jewish stuff they like so much in New York City. If you know what I mean.

May God continue to bless the United States of America!

Technorati Tags: Bush, Sark, Fourth of July, New York Times Treason, Freedom