Bush Decides Iraq War Untenable, Considers Troop Withdrawl

Tuesday night, Geeorge W. Bush had a gut feeling that the war in Iraq is "untenable," and a "huge mess."

Awakening in the middle of the night on Tuesday, he woke wife Laura Bush, telling her: "I think I made a monumental error in judgment on this Iraq thing. I'm going to call the whole thing off in the morning."

Laura Bush, wondering if her husband's recent check-up might have in some way shaken his laser-like focus on winning the Global War on Terror, had a glass of warm milk prepared for him and told him to drink it all the way down nice and slow. She then told him he was going to be fine, and stroking his forehead said: "There, there, dear. You just had a bad dream. Just remember what you always say. You're promoting universal freedom. Universal freedom. Say it with me, honey. Universal freedom."

"Universal freedom. Universal freedom. Universal freedom," Mr. Bush repeated along with Ms. Bush. Five minutes later, the president, soothed and reassured, fell back into a deep and dreamless sleep.

How do I know this? Regular readers of this blog know that I share with George W. Bush many remarkable similarities. So much so that when I woke up in the middle of the last night with sudden qualms about the Iraq War, I felt sure that George W. Bush was feeling those same qualms.

Fortunately for both of us, and for universal freedom, we both came to our senses in the morning. When my wife asked me if I remembered waking in the middle of the night and expressing doubts about the mission in Iraq, I told her not to worry, that everything was just fine.

I'm sure George W. said the same thing. He, like me, put it down to the tests we both underwent at our yearly physicals. I know I get a little lightheaded when they draw blood for testing; I'm sure that's what happened to George W., too!

So, no worries, America and America's allies. George W. Bush is just fine now. So is the never-ending quest for universal freedom. And so, of course, am I!

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