Proud Bush Is President?

Did you know that you can buy a mousepad to show that you're on the side of George W. Bush and universal freedom?

In the next couple of days I would expect that we will soon be able to buy mousepads that say: PROUD I'M NOT AN APPEASER or maybe I'M NOT AN ISLAMO-FACIST.

As a man whose life is remarkably similar to George Bush's, I have a feeling, not as yet confirmed by the White House, that there will be Anti-Appeaser Squads forming in your neighborhood soon. Now that we know appeasers are as bad as fascists it only makes sense.

In a related story, yesterday at dinner at The Tacqueria, my liberal sister-in-law Ginger asked me: "How come the Republicans say it's a whole new world after 9/11 and then talk about Hitler in the next breath? If it's a whole new world then what does Hitler have to do with it?

I have to admit she almost had me there for a second, but then I remembered that there is no way that a liberal can be right about anything. I relaxed. Once relaxed, I was able to formulate a response.

"You liberals just don't get it," I said. "Think of it this way: There's Good. There's Evil. There's facists and appeasers. End of story."

"You're answering a question I didn't ask, as usual," Ginger said.

"And you're a liberal," I pointed out. "And probably an appeaser, too."

Which pretty much explains everything if you ask me.