Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Bush Makes Suprise Trip to Iraq -- Sark Surprises Greenwich Village

President George W. Bush, radiating the same "Mission Accomplished" manliness he displayed a few years ago in declaring the "end of major conflict" in Iraq, made a brief speech in Baghdad during a surprise visit to the Green Zone in that city yesterday.

I, Paul M. Sark, whose life is amazingly similar to George W.'s, made a similar surprise visit yesterday to New York's Greenwich Village and made some uncannily similar remarks. Read on and see what I mean.

PRESIDENT BUSH in Green Zone in Baghdad: Iraq is a part of the war on terror. Iraq is a central front on that war, and when Iraq succeeds in having a government of and by and for the people of Iraq, you will have dealt a serious blow to those who have a vision of darkness, who don't believe in liberty, who are willing to kill the innocent in order to achieve a political objective.

ME, PAUL M. SARK in Greenwich Village in New York City: Greenwich Village is a central front in the war on homosexual marriage. When Greenwich Village succeeds in having a government of and by and for the real people of Greenwich Village and the American people, we will have dealt a serious blow to those who have a vision of darkness, who don't believe in the liberty of one man-one woman marriage, and who are willing to prey upon the weak minds of liberals and their fellow travelers in order to achieve their disgusting, vile and anti-Christian political objectives!

Me & George W. know that surprise visits to dangerous and exotic locales are important because it shows the American people and the world that Americans are manly, decisive and persistent in the face of adversity. We'd really rather not have to be show-offs, but America and the world expects it of its leaders and deciders.

We also know that it's best not to give too much advance warning about these manly missions, and that it's a good idea not to stick around too long either. Sticking around is show-offy, too, and Me & George W., as strong laconic American men in the mold of Ronald Reagan, dislike show-offiness in all its degraded forms. Preening is for liberals, transvestites and cross-dressers.

After my speech on the corner of West 4th and 6th, for instance, I waited for about half a minute for questions. When none were forthcoming, I bowed and jumped on the subway, confident that I had served as a beacon of hope and liberty to the embattled residents of Greenwich Village, just as George W. did in Baghdad.

May God bless Greenwich Village! And for that matter, Iraq, too!

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4 comments:

Moderator said...

"...decisive and persistent in the face of adversity."

Are you sure you didn't mean "diversity?"

Does Greenwich Village have a Green Zone too?

Paul M. Sark said...

You may be right about "diversity." Perhaps I should have said, "...decisive and persistent in the face of adverse diversity."

As nearly as I can determine, all of Greenwich Village is a pink zone. Much hard work needs to be done to convert it to green.

Cup said...

I bet Greenwich Village embraced you, Paul M. Sark!

lydia said...

Someone's got their mojo back....!