Bush: "NSA Not Trolling Lives of Innocents"

The other day, George W. Bush said his best day as President was the day he caught a big fish in his private lake. He explained today that he and the NSA are not trolling the lives of innocent Americans, but only terrorists and links to terrorists.

Me and George W. know that there's good fishing practices and bad fishing practices. This is an important distinction that liberals want to blur, and so in their liberal stupidity unwittingly advance their pro-terror agenda.

I'll explain that in a minute, but first here's what George W. Bush said today:

THE PRESIDENT: After September the 11th, I vowed to the American people that our government would do everything within the law to protect them against another terrorist attack. As part of this effort, I authorized the National Security Agency to intercept the international communications of people with known links to al Qaeda and related terrorist organizations. In other words, if al Qaeda or their associates are making calls into the United States or out of the United States, we want to know what they're saying....

We're not mining or trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans. Our efforts are focused on links to al Qaeda and their known affiliates. So far we've been very successful in preventing another attack on our soil.

As a general matter, every time sensitive intelligence is leaked, it hurts our ability to defeat this enemy. Our most important job is to protect the American people foreign another attack, and we will do so within the laws of our country.

When George W. caught that big perch in his lake on the best day of his presidency, he used a rod and a reel and went after a specific fish: a big fish.

That is what the NSA is doing: going after only the big Al Queda fish, or those who are affiliated with the Al Queda fish. They are not "trolling," a commercial fishing practice where big and little and guilty and innocent fish are all dragged to the surface together. No, like George W., the NSA are anglers. They are sport fishermen, not commercial fishermen.

Now, some liberals might say that even when your sportfishing, how do you know you're going to catch the right fish -- there's a lot of fish out there, some of which are Al Queda, and some of which just have innocent relatives in the Mideast. How do you know which is which?

The answer is simple. The NSA knows.

They have high tech equipment which can tell which fish are communicating with which fish and why. It's like when whales sing. The NSA knows if they're singing about how lonely they are, or if they're setting up a terrorist attack.

It's like that sophisticated sonar that can tell where the fish are, which schools of fish are innocent porpoises and which are swordfish. Simple as that.

Liberals would want the NSA to reveal their fishing secrets. This is typical of liberals. They don't understand that fishing secrets need to remain secret!

But liberals don't care. They want laws that would make NSA fishing secrets to be revealed to the very fish that the NSA are trying to catch!

It's ridiculous when you think about for even a second. It's like going out to fish on your own private lake and telling the fish: "Hey, Mr. Fish, I'm going to see if I can catch you over by the pier today!"

Well Mr. Liberal, if you knew half as much about fishing as me and George W. know, then you would know that you can't catch terrorists that way!