SATURDAY, MAY, 19, 2006
Catch up on reading: How Capitalism Saved America: The Untold History of Our Country, from the Pilgrims to the Present by Thomas Dilorenzo.
Proves "social justice" only achievable through capitalism. Great examples: Pilgrims starve until each gets own plot of land. Invisible hand of capitalism provides. Not Indians. Indians = socialists. Can't compete. Then Indians embrace capitalism. Capitalism instantly provides social justice to Indians through casino gaming industry. Happy ending for Indians via capitalism.
Dinner: Wife dining at sister's; I dine with brother Don at "Dew Drop Up Inn."
Don, already half in bag, tells waitress, Angeline, he hates French. Hates Chinese. Hates Japanese. Hates Cambodian, Laotian, Middle-Eastern, Vietnamese, Korean, Cuban food. Hates all food of former/current enemies of U.S.A. Don's usual litany.
Don likes Angeline. Likes big American tits of Angeline's. Doesn't tell Angeline about that. Not yet. Usually later.
Order steaks, fries, domestic beers from Angeline.
Tell Don about How Capitalism Saved America. Cite example of Pilgrims and Indians. Don interrupts.
DON: "Damn straight. And where else you gonna find tits like that but in America?"
ME (agreeing): "Damn straight."
DON: "Damn right, damn straight."
Order another round of beers when dinner arrives. Agree Indians held up progress, but with casinos now see light of capitalism. Order another round.
Agree Unity Government in Iraq must give average Iraqi right to open casino. Agree taxes sap creativity. Agree Death Tax must be repealed in Iraq. Order another round. Ask Angeline if she would work in Iraqi casino. She says "yes." High fives all around.
Don to bathroom. Don taking his time. I start letter to Unity Government on back of napkin:Dear Unity Government, It has come to our attention that you do not understand the connection between freedom, democracy, capitalism and casinos. Now that the tyrant has been brought to justice and that progress is being made, it's time to jump start the economy by aggressively promoting tourism. The big draw? Gaming!
Don still not back from bathroom. Go find Don in last stall sitting on toilet, slumped against wall, pants at ankles, snoring. Laugh. Laugh some more. Decide to leave him.
Nightcap: House empty. Call wife's cell. Voicemail. Leave message about casinos in Iraq. Pour bourbon, double shot. Mmmmm.
Phone rings.
DON: "You sonofabitch. What the hell's the matter with you leaving me here?"
ME: Laugh. Laugh some more.
DON: "Come and get me, you bastard. You drove remember?"
ME: Laugh harder.
DON: "F*** you!"
I hang up on Don to teach lesson: If you can't take care of yourself, that's your problem. Unless you're a communist. Then being a communist is your problem.
Brush teeth, wash face, go to bed: Wonder how Don is getting home. Laugh. Yawn. Laugh. Yawn. Slip into dreamland. Sleep sleep of Righteous.
And so ends -- as I think you'll have to agree -- yet another day in which me & George W. lead our amazingly similar lives!
Technorati Tags: Iraq , Bush, Casinos, Freedom
10 comments:
Is Don your younger brother? Just curious to see whether he stacks up with Jeb Bush. It sounds as though Don may need a visit with the Rev. Billy Graham and perhaps you could read him some of your favorite scriptures too.
Don't worry; The Wal-Mart Effect isn't exactly anti-Wal-Mart. And the sections that are, I have torn out of the book, which I believe both you and George W would approve of.
I'm the eternal capitalist. Ayn Rand is my hero.
Is your mom slightly... mannish?
Paul - are you drinking again? Does that mean George W is back on the sauce. Concerned.
Grant,
Don is my younger brother; he is considering a run for the presidency in 2008, and you're right, we may need to bring Billy Graham in to straighten him out.
Thanks for your recommendation, and your concern.
Dear Zhiluv,
Am so relieved you tore out the anti-Walmart sections. Negativity is closely linked to defeatism, and defeatism is a slippery slope that leads to defeat.
Ayn Rand is one of my favorites, too. The heroes in her books are so true to life. And of course her economic insights unsurpassed in their profound audacity!
Cacchinator,
This sounds like a psychologically based question. As such, I cannot answer iit. Psychology is a liberal construct and therefore Godless. I suggest you read Ann Coulter's new book: "Godless: The Church of Liberalism" for more insight.
Hi Cootie Garage,
Yes, George W. is drinking again. And judging from all the great times I'm having, he's having a great time, too!
I am very surprised at your brother refusal to eat so many foods from former enemies. Does he at least eat fish? Or is he at war wih seas because of all the damage it has done?
Thanks for your recommendation, and your concern.
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