Last Saturday I kept notes on what I did throughout the day. If you read those notes below, I think you'll see that me & George W. probably had a very similar Saturday and that we probably lead very similar lives!
SATURDAY, MAY 19, 2006
Wake up: Think about freedom.
Put on coffee: Think about stem cell research. Agree with self that it's bad. Tell self God wouldn't like it. Wait to hear if God says anything. Wait some more. Hear bird singing in backyard. Take as confirmation of badness of stem-cell research.
Shower: No soap. Wonder if George W. ever has similar problem. Doubt it. Would Laura bring soap if he called? Yes. Would my wife bring soap if I called? Decide it's better not to tempt fate. Better sometimes not to test absolute similarity of lives of Me & George W.
Get dressed, brush teeth, comb hair, etc.: Think about how we're winning the War on Taxes. Remind self to recalculate tax savings again later.
Drink O.J. straight from container: Assume George W. does same. Revel in happy orange juice and Me & George W. feeling.
Turn on radio: Agree loudly with radio host's attack on Hilary Clinton and liberals in general. Say "Damn right!" and "Damn Right, Goddammit!" until properly fired up.
Make toast, drink more orange juice straight from container: Think about freedom. Get distracted thinking about freedom, fail to notice wife has reset timer on toaster. Smell smoke. Grab fork, try to excavate burning toast. Stab at toast again and again, but cannot liberate toast. Smoke alarm goes off: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. From bedroom wife calls for toast withdrawl. Reply: "Freedom isn't free. Freedom has its cost!"
Get Saturday newspaper from corner, NY POST: Read POST headline: FOURTH REICH! Read story about Iran government making Jews and Christians wear armbands like Nazis did. Experience outrage at Islamofacism. Go back to newsstand, buy and rifle through NY TIMES. No mention of FOURTH REICH! Crumple NY TIMES into ball and jam in trash basket. Think about George W. doing same in White House. Know something will be done. Take deep breath. Feel better knowing something will be done.
Shopping trip to Target with wife: Marvel at high-tech video game display showing bloody but successful commando mission against dark-skinned enemy. Know deep inside that American know-how and technology always prevails and always will.
So, that takes Me & George W. up until about noon. I'll post the rest of Me & George W.'s day over the next couple days, depending on how much time it takes away from our holiday drinking!
Technorati Tags: Stem Cell Research , Bush, Toast, Freedom
4 comments:
at least you're WAY busier than me!
The wife and I listen to a couple of the NPR shows over the weekend. Rather relaxing while drinking coffee and reading the paper. I suppose that's a bit too liberal?
All that contemplation you and George W must do. How can you get anything done? I'm in awe ... and craving some OJ.
Would it kill you to pick up a glass once in a while. What's with you two?
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