George W. Bush woke up this morning looking forward to Father's Day. To breakfast in bed. Slippers fitted to presidential feet just before they hit the floor. To an extra glass of orange juice and a second coffee on the couch. To late morning phone calls from hungover daughters. To laying in the hammock dozing, listening to the ballgame in the late afternoon. To a nice dinner followed by satisfying, if perfunctory, conjugality with his wife.
How do I know all that? Because, as I believe I have shown in most of the entries below, my life is very similar to George W. Bush's life and that is what I woke up thinking about this morning.
I also had some thoughts this morning that might not be exactly similar to George W.'s thoughts. I thought, for example, about that new project director at the office, Gemmma, who was moved into the cubicle outside my office yesterday. I thought about her breasts, so artfully displayed, gently framed by the low-cut summer dress she wore. Flowered it was, the dress. Rustling when she walked by.
But, then again, who knows? Maybe George W. has a new staffer who was wearing a similar dress about whom he made similar observations. I have not been able to confirm this. The media tends not to report on these types of items, not even FoxNews.
I am sure, however, that
Me & George W. agree that women really belong in the home and not in the workplace -- with the exception of attractive young women, who, because they are seeking husbands and eventually children, do need to be in places where there are eligible men for them to flirt with, to make mistakes with and errors of judgment with, to cry on the shoulders of more experienced older men with, some of whom may or may not be married.
Then I thought about the Sazerac cocktail, arguing with myself whether it should be served in an old-fashioned glass or in a martini glass. The old-fashioned glass is the traditional glass for the Sazerac. But recently, I was served a Sazerac in a martini glass, and found the experience intriguing.
Bearing the Sazerac like a precious chalice, the waitress serving me had to tread lightly so as not to spill it. As she walked toward me across the length of the restaurant, she radiated a kind of saintly concentration. When at last, without spilling a drop, she placed it before me, I didn't know whether to bless her or ask for her telephone number. Obviously, none of this would never have happened with an old-fashioned glass.
As traditional conservatives,
Me & George W. believe that women belong in the home and Sazerac cocktails belong in old-fashioned glasses. But as modern conservatives, we are open to incremental change as well, especially when it involves attractive young women in positions of service. Which, when you think about it, is actually an updated traditionalist view.
I don't know whether Laura Bush will serve George Bush a Sazerac cocktail in a martini glass or an old-fashioned glass tomorrow night before and/or after dinner. Or whether it will be an attractive young White House staffer in a low-cut summmer dress. All I know is that one day a year, Father's Day, Me & George W. get to laze around the house and be treated in the traditional fashion we so richly deserve!
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George W. Bush, down in Memphis today at Graceland with the Japanese prime minister, is thinking not only about "Good King Elvis," but also "Bad King George" of England -- the one who Thomas Jefferson lambasted in The Declaration of Independence back on July 4, 1776.Hawaii, after a coup financed and directed by American interests overthrew the monarchy's last native Hawaiian leader, Queen Lili'uokalani, the island became a republic in 1894.
Me & George W. and Elvis know that when you're making pineapple juice you've got to do a little squeezing. If you know what I mean.
