Remember how George Bush a couple of years ago made a surprise Thanksgiving visit to the soldiers in Iraq? And how it turned out the turkey he served up was fake -- a fake plastic turkey that would look good on TV?George W. probably won't be going there for Easter this year, but the fake turkey thing has given me an idea for my Easter dinner: I'm going to serve a fake turkey to my sister-in-law Ginger!
Why?
It's payback time!
Regular readers of this blog know that the word Ginger uses most often to describe me is "incompetent," followed by "idiot" and "liar" -- the very same words the American public now use to describe George W. She's really whipping up a lot of hard feelings among my wife and other sisters-in-law about me just because I crashed her friend's wedding and looked at her email.
So now it's payback time, as I said. I'll use George W.'s great fake-out turkey trick! Won't she be surprised!
That just gave me an idea! I'm going to send an email to George W. at the White House to see if he'll lend me the joke turkey. And here, by gosh, is what I'm going to say:
Dear President Bush:
Can I use that fake turkey that you used a while ago on the soldiers in Iraq? It was a great gag, and I would really like to use it on my sister-in-law.
Like those Iraqis, she's a real insurgent. She calls me incompetent and she's really been playing hell with my approval ratings.
Sometimes a good joke on someone is the best way to get back at them -- like that joke you played on the old people with that new medication plan when they went to the drug store and couldn't get their pills? Ha! That'll teach 'em!
And when you said, "Heckuva job, Brownie," to that Brownie fellow even when you knew he'd done a terrible job. Man, that was some fine irony there!
I realize I probably should have thought about this sooner, but I think you understand how things can get out of hand.
Anyway, I look forward to the turkey, and by the way, check out my blog "meandgeorgew" which is all about the similarities we have! I hope you like it!
Yours in similitude,
Paul M. Sark
Wow -- Think of it -- the actual fake turkey! I'm going to get the actual fake Iraq turkey!
That's going to put a whole 'nother level on the joke on Ginger. Cosmic, if you know what I mean!
2 comments:
Let us know how that fake turkey works for you. You are planning to wear a manly flak jacket as you serve the fake turkey, aren't you?
Well, I'm sure he'll write back to you soon, really soon. And send the turkey. I agree with Beth, I think you need to dress military-casual. Maybe some Aviator sunglasses? Who will you serve the fake turkey to?
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