George W. Bush and the Dog of War

I've been getting a lot of help in my new (almost) role as White House press secretary. (I'm so close that I'm beginning to wonder how much a White House Press Secretary makes...)

For an example of the advice and ideas people have been giving me, Amanda has offered me the use of her chocolate lab, Brownie, as Special Dog to the Press Secretary. And she had an idea as to how I might use the dog. Here's her idea:

Amanda: ...here's an example of how you might use Brownie the dog...in your new job.

Say, for example, someone asks you a question that you don't know the answer to, like, "Do you think lying about the reason for a war is an impeachable offense?" Well, you could could just look over to the dog and shout, "Hey, look everyone, that crazy Brownie just swiped that ham sandwich out of Stretch's backpack. Bad dog! Next question"

See?

I do like the idea of a dog, but I think I might use him a little differently than Amanda suggests.

For example, if some liberal reporter asked me a question like "Do you think lying about the reason for a war is an impeachable offense," I could at that point turn to Brownie and say: "Hey boy, what do you think about that question? Is that the stupidest question you've ever heard? What was that, boy? You do? You do think it's the stupidest question you ever heard? Of course you do. Yes, of course you do. Good dog. Very good dog."

Then if the liberal reporter said something like: "Please answer the question, Paul," I could say: "Brownie? What do you think? Should I answer the question? No? I shouldn't? Good boy! Next question!"

I think the American people would get a kick out that, don't you? It's kind of like what Scott McClellan did, but with better production values.

I mean, really, do you ask a dog if he wants to eat? Do you ask a dog if he wants to chase another dog? Do you ask a dog if he has weapons of mass destruction? Or why he 's a tyrant like Hitler? Or why he was supporting Al Queda?

I mean it's just ridiculous!